He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
