I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize