just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
