I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
