I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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