And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
