she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
All the doctor said was why
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
