just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
