I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
even my farts smell like vagina
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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