Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Quick, to the slutcave!
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
