Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
