I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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