i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
