Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
