I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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