the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
