eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
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Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
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I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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