Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
