hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
