haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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