His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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