This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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