The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize