Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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