I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
