You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
