This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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