I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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