I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
