Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
