im about as happy as oj after his trial
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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