Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
