Sponge bath it is.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
