i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
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