do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Go christen that room with your naked body.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
