Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
