it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
