Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
