Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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