I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
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