then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
