That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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