I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
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We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
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is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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