It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
