I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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