At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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