it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
