oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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