therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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