My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Randomize
