I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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