he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
