Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
