We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
