i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
