Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
