You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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