ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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