So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Screwed.edu
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
