How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
