All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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