You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
