hell yes lets make some ravioli
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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