new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
