David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Randomize
