Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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