She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
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