hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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